FOOTSCRAY AND AVATAR & My Lord Jesus Christ

Yesterday, I tasted the most delicious pasta dish in Melbourne - the best would have to be the Jordans - He made the nicest white sauce with pasta, chicken & mushroom, blended with bacon! hmm chicken e pollo! *and something fancy in italian here, if only I knew :)*

Anyway... It just made me remember how much I love mushrooms. It has to be my favourite vegetable after cucumber that is. Raw rushrooms, BBQ mushrooms, steamed and fried mushrooms

This morning I drove over an extremely treacherous bridge. It's what connects the west side with the mainland and it built high up over a stretch of water (which most bridges normally are...but this one just seem rather out of place, unsecure somewhat) Anyway, sometimes when you drive over the bridge, a gush of wind from your left blows pushing your car and I think if you're not careful and steady, it could easily topple. I could actually feel the car being pushed aside and I had to try so hard to gain control. It actually made things worse when you had to stop/start a manual on a bridge filled with cars, and a menacing wind just gushing by.

On the bright side, I got to my destination and back home safely to enjoy an evening practicing songs, watching Avatar with the brother and friends, and drinking sparkling grape juice. What more can a girl asked for? Anywho, Avatar has ended for the season but it is an absolutely remarkable show. It's humourous, gives lots of good advice and has a very intricate intelligent plot - ALSO the characters are very interesting, and not one-sided as we use to seeing... there's a bountiful of characterisation going on. Not bad for a cartoon ah!

Today, the GURU was telling AANG, the main character (AVATAR) that in order to acheive balance in himself he needs to let go of any earthly attachments. I thought that was very relevant. That's what God has been telling me to do over the last few years and I think Í've actually managed to do this - there were so many things and so many people that I could not let go of. I couldn't give them up, but God has been saying in order to serve Him, in order to be a light to this world, I have to surrender myself to Him, and I need to rid myself of earthly attachments... and in return I will gain such AWESOME peace. I think I've managed to do that.

I've managed to forgive myself (rid myself of GUILT - I've given them all to God, I've repented, he has forgiven me and now I have forgiven myself)

I have accepted that the Lord is my saviour and that I live to serve Him. I know who I am in Him. There was once a person who told me this and I couldnt understand what he meant - How can you not know yourself, but know who you are in the Lord? Because does that not mean you know you are...which is a contradiction. But knowing yourself in this world is just knowing what you want to be. It is not you. We think we are a certain person because we convince ourselves, or people have planted that thought into our head. But when we know who we are in the Lord, we know who He wants us to be, who He has CREATED us to be. We stop caring for worldly assumptions but only take on that which is between us and God.

I think most importantly, I've managed to just LET GO... of the past, of past wrongs, of what maybe or what has been. I was in such a beautiful relationship with someone that it would almost kill me to let it go. This clouded my thinking, my focus on life, my relationship with God and others. And God knew this... He had once told me to wait, told me it wasnt the right time but because I wasnt listening, and because I was tied to this earthly attachment, I had faced the consequence of my actions. Even to the point that I forgot what things were like and everything just seem dark and wrong. Earthly attachments make us want, and hold on to things that we know are bad for us, but if we Let go, and accept God's kingdom, everything in it is pure and good.

But now I've learnt to completely surrender myself, I feel more at peace. I feel joyful. I love living, I love life as it is. I have all I need. It's enough. I don't want anymore.

God has taken everything but I am eternally grateful. Because He is the only one I need, the only one I live for.